WMH Season 4 Ep 6: Talking About Your Mental Health Matters

This is a transcript of Watching Mental Health Season 3, Episode 6 which you can watch and listen to here:

Katie: Hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of Watching Mental Health, and I am so excited about today's episode because a dear friend of mine is coming on the show, and her name is Ruth Furman. And Ruth has the curiosity of a journalist, the enthusiasm of a publicist and the strategic mind of a marketing consultant. She's the founder of Image Words Communications and has lived in Las Vegas since 1999, and her firm has worked with clients across all industries, including mental health and healthcare. And I have seen firsthand how amazing her work is. She immerses herself fully in work that brings her joy and helps others. And I've seen that too. And today we're going to talk about her passion in mental health on both a professional and a personal level, why mental health press and media matters and why it's so important to focus on the work that brings you joy. And so I am really excited because again, this is a dear friend of mine and I'm just so honored to have her here today. So with that, I'm going to bring Ruth Furman into the show.

Ruth: Thank you, Katie. Great introduction, and let's make some noise about mental health.

Katie: Absolutely. Thank you so much. Well, I just again appreciate your time and I have seen your work out in the community and you've brought amazing stories to the forefront, and I know that mental health is an important aspect of both your professional and your personal life. And so with that, I just want to open the floor and ask you a little bit more about yourself. Tell us who you are and why mental health matters to you.

Ruth: Oh, thanks for asking that, and thanks for asking that in that way. So I am, by day I run a marketing and public relations firm, and I'm lucky that I am a boutique agency, so it is my own company. So I really do get to choose which companies I work with, which owners I feel that I align with, and really where I can add value. And as you mentioned in your intro over the years I've been in business for myself, it will be 24 years next month. Wow.

Katie: Yeah. Congratulations.

Ruth: Thank you. Before that, I did corporate public relations in a totally different industry. And then prior to that I was a working journalist. So over the years, I've had a chance to really help companies, individuals, and brands in pretty much every industry, almost every industry.

And I've learned the industries that I have the most fun with, the ones that I'm passionate about, the ones that my journalists contacts constantly come back to me for sources in and mental health and healthcare are two of those that I just love working in. And also I've learned over the years that I need to have multiple clients in those industries because not every story fits every mental health expert. So it's been really joyful and not all of these stories are not all joyful and fun and shiny. They're gritty, they're sad, they're scary, they're heartbreaking. So I consider it my role as a business owner doing work in mental health to really help my media contacts navigate content by connecting them with the right sources and to help my clients get their news out

Katie: There. Wow, that's amazing. And the work is so important. I think a lot of people don't realize how essential it is to tell the stories and to get the right experts to tell the right stories, because a lot of us, I think, especially here in Nevada, we feel so siloed. And a lot of people will say, access to care, access to care is our biggest problem, but there are organizations out there that are doing good work that maybe we don't see or we don't know about. And so I just think these stories are so, so valuable. So talk to me more about why as a PR expert, you think that talking about mental health in the media is so important.

Ruth: Yeah, that's just such a good question. And also, I mean, before I answer that question, I will share that I strategically have added clients nationwide who have expertise in mental health and healthcare as well as nonprofits that provide those services to different populations. Some of them low cost, no cost, because you mentioned access and access to care, I don't think has ever, ever been more critical than it is today. So for me, I mean, there's a lot that I cannot control. As in my little world running my business, there's a lot that I can control, but what I can do is I can do what I call amplifying the diverse lens so I can really be sure that I have a very, very diverse mix of clients that are on my list. So that when a lot of times it's breaking news, there will be a murder or something going on here in Nevada or nationally,

Katie: Nationwide. Nationwide.

Ruth: And media will come to me and they'll say, Hey, I need, sometimes they'll say a psychologist, sometimes they'll say a psychiatrist, sometimes they'll say a doctor. They'll ask for all different types of experts who can comment on a certain aspect, a certain angle. And a lot of times just happened last week. It's a phone conversation with the journalist, okay, here's what I want, who do you know who could help me? And so then typically I'll have a few options. A lot of times it comes down to who's available the fastest.

So I have cell phone numbers for all of my mental health clients. It seems like the mental health news stories, because my job, because a lot of your viewers might not understand that my job in public relations is to connect. The part of my job is to connect the news media with experts who can do interviews for the newspaper, for television, for radio, for podcasts, for online stories. So that is just a big part of what I do. In addition to that, I am amplifying my client's news, what sets them apart. It's autism month, we're recording this in April. It's autism month. The number of clients that do have services they provide to that community and that population. So that's something I'm doing more proactively, is really amplifying them.

Katie: I love that. And that's so valuable. So in your 20 plus years of your boutique firm, and even before that when you were working corporate, what has been, and have you noticed a shift in how we talk about mental health or the stories that we report on versus the stories that we talk about today?

Ruth: I have seen a big shift and I'm grateful for it. And I think the biggest shift that I have seen in my years working in media and in marketing and public relations is that we're talking about it and we're talking about it more. And I give mental health advocates like yourself, Katie, I know that you do a lot of work for nami,

And you can explain what NAMI is, but I feel that a lot of mental health issues and challenges and things going on are really being talked about when there is an act of terrorism or something going on. Media are coming to me and they're saying, can you give me someone that can talk to our audience about how parents should talk to their kids about this school shooting, about this act of violence? And I, that is a privilege for me to be able to help in that way, whereas in the past, in my view, because I'm in my fifties, I've been doing this a long time, and in my view, it seems like those things weren't talked about as much as they are now. And I see that there's kind of a cycle, just like there is with trauma, there's a cycle of news. First you're seeing reports on what actually happened, then a few days later, typically we're helping with those stories about how to talk to your kids, what does this mean? How do we navigate this? So yeah, so it's real privilege for me to kind of provide that

Katie: Bridge. Yeah, that is so interesting, that cycle. And you're right. And I think that that bridge is really, really essential. And then, yeah, just so for our viewers who are wondering, NAMI is the National Alliance of Mental Illness, and I do a lot of work with them. They're one of those organizations, those nonprofits that provide those free no cost services in the community and can provide information for when things happen that they can be there to provide resources. So yeah, I just love that you brought that up though, and it seems like this is something that you're so passionate about. And you said that earlier, and people will always tell me when I talk about mental health, they're like, your face just lights up, Katie. I can tell you're so passionate about it. And really it touches me when they see that because I'm just doing that naturally. And I feel like you are similar in that when you talk about these things that you're passionate about, that I can tell that you're passionate. And so talk to me more about why it's so important to report on stories that bring you joy, that are things that are passionate for you, and why mental health is one of those.

Ruth: Okay, well, I'll address that, answer that from two perspectives. First of all, I have seen how these stories help others, including myself.

I have been a caregiver to family members who have had, my dad had some mental health issues. My mom recently lost my mom to lung cancer, and she was on some meds that had some side effects. So of course, even though you're not supposed to, many of us will Google the side effects. And so something that I do a lot with is I help with national news stories about medication side effects. So somebody like me may be Googling and seeing one of these stories, and so I'm providing experts to journalists for these types of stories. As a matter of fact, I'm helping with one right now about the certain weight loss drugs for adolescents. What do parents need to know? So that just makes me feel like I'm really providing a public service. But it's also personal because over the years, I have managed and continue to manage mental health challenges. And as I said before we started recording, I find that knowing, having that radical self-awareness of my own tendencies and my own challenges really does give me superpowers to show up as my best self. So it's personal to me. It matters to me. It matters to people that I love. I have a lot of people in my life with a lot of mental health challenges.

And so being able to get the word out about different resources through my business, it really is my passion. It's something I'm really proud of, and it's really become a big part of my why of my business. And when I'm adding new clients, I like to add clients that are maybe a little different than the clients I already have. Maybe someone who has a certain specialty or a certain knowledge or a certain focus. So for me personally, and I have shared this with you just as a friend, Katie, I have been made aware in the last year that I have some A DHD tendencies. Now, it's not a formal diagnosis, but knowing that I have these tendencies just helps me navigate my days better to know that I need a little buffer in my schedule because I don't multitask well. And I actually had had lunch with a colleague in my field yesterday, relations, and I told her that I feel that sometimes in my business, with all of the unexpected that comes at me in a given day, I feel if I get a little manic,

Katie: Oh yeah.

Ruth: And that is a term that I do not use lightly. But for someone that does already have some A DHD tendencies to be in a high pressure, very unstructured field, public relations is kind of challenging. So that's one of the reasons I really do dive deep to get myself a lot of support around that.

Katie: I love that it's because you're using the stories to, you are absorbing them, right? You're finding these experts and you're getting this important information out there. There's so much misinformation around mental health. So to have experts like you bring in the subject matter experts, and then to be able to internalize that and say that this helped me to recognize something in myself and move forward. Because it's almost like if we aren't telling the stories, then when these things come up in ourselves, we won't know how to address them. I think that it's only because of our experience and our background and just listening to these media stories and hearing other people's experiences is what helps us to be able to come to that bridge ourselves. So have you noticed that?

Ruth: Yes, I've totally noticed that. The other thing that I've noticed since I've had this awareness and this knowing is that I am a lot more, I mean the cool kids call it, but I'm a lot more aware of what I need to be happy and to show up well. And then I was talking to a friend, there's a mental health nonprofit I do some work for, and we had a gathering the other night. I was talking to one of their board members about the definition of self-care. A lot of my friends define, my peers define self-care as getting a massage or getting their nails done. For me, sometimes it's staying home. It's not doing something. It's giving myself permission to skip an event. About a week ago, I took myself by myself. I knew my husband wouldn't be into it, and none of my friends really wanted to go to a local production of a musical on a Wednesday night. And it totally lifted me up.

Katie: Yes, I love that. Yeah, absolutely. That's a great, you jumped ahead of me a little bit. That's a great segue to my next question, because I was going to ask, in the space that you're in, I know it can be a lot of chaos right now, especially in PR and media with all the news happening. And then just in general, being an entrepreneur, a business owner for 20 plus years, that's got to be hard. Sometimes I feel the burnout and I'm less than 10 years into my business. And so talk to me a little bit more about self-care. You mentioned a couple of the things. Sometimes it's staying in, I know for me sometimes it's taking a nap. Sometimes I need to take a nap in the middle of the day and I need to not be mad at myself about it. And this just is what it is, but so tell me more about some of your self-care tools and techniques that you've picked up through your 20 plus years running your own business.

Ruth: Well, thanks for asking. A lot of, it's pretty new. A lot of it's pretty new because you have seasons of your life. And right now, I'm in a season where to my younger brother, he lives in Indiana. I live in Las Vegas, he has Down syndrome. I like going to visit him and I really being present, whereas in the past when I would travel, I would multitask a ton, and I really didn't feel that I was as present as I am now. So for me, when I say giving myself permission, it's really hard because it's kind of like I have that one side of my brain that wants me to take on that opportunity, that wants me to say yes to that work opportunity or over schedule myself, but that knowing that I'm going to be happier and I'm going to show up better if I leave myself a buffer and a lot of white space. That's just really important to me. And then I think, I'm sure you do too. I think a lot of us right now in the spring especially, it seems like a lot of people after the first quarter in business are ready off to the races with no advance notice. I need this, I need that. And because of I've learned through a course, I literally just took last night through Lindsay Paoli, a mutual friend of ours, the Mind Performance coach, I learned that it's about managing A DHD tendencies. And I learned it's an online course, and I learned that it's about dopamine, our mind. My mind wants that hit of dopamine by saying yes, helping that individual, making their urgency, my emergency. So for me, and it sounds really simple, but I feel like I have said no more in the last three months than I have in years. And it's scary because you worry they won't come back. No. Or not now. Sometimes it's not now, sometimes it's not now. So that is a really, really big form of self-care for me. I have opted out of some events that would be a big chunk out of my day. So a lot of it has been really creating space and time and not worrying so much about others not liking me. I'm a lifelong people pleaser. So yeah, it's not one specific thing, it's just kind of the way that I live my life now.

Katie: That's powerful. The boundaries you're putting, I mean, it's a shift, right? Instead of that career. Yes, yes, yes. It's family now is first. And I mean, not the family wasn't ever first, but it's that focus really. And that's powerful. And it's hard. It's hard to say no. I feel that when I have to say no. But I do think it's also important to learn when you need to say no and when chapters of your life need to be less focused on working 60 hours a week on your business and more focused on other things. So I mean, I get that deep in

Ruth: My soul. Oh, thank you. And also, hiring help is something I'm doing more. Something that I've learned is anything super detailed is probably better for me, not to do myself is better for me to outsource. And then something else that I have learned that has been really uncomfortable for me, and I've learned this as part of that dopamine of people pleasing, is that I have a really hard time having conversations about money in my business. And when I feel as if I'm undervalued, I take it. The old me used to take it really, really personally. Now, I've just learned that that conversation cannot be rapid fire, texting or emailing. It needs to be a phone call, and I need to be strong and have no attachment to the outcome or expectation, but be firm. So that's another thing that I've learned. And that's also a form of self-care is not responding immediately.

Katie: Yeah, exactly. Not everything needs to be an emergency. And I know in your world, a lot of things are an emergency, so that's hard to manage. But that's a good example though of you are somebody who, yeah, I mean, it takes time and practice, but you can manage it. You can find balance even in a career as chaotic as PR and media. So you talked to me about some of the things that maybe you struggle with and how you shift those. Let's shift that. You mentioned earlier that you had a DHD tendencies, that was something you found out about yourself. But before we were on our call, you called that a super superpower in some ways. So let's talk about that, right? In what ways can our own, not diagnoses, but mental health awarenesses be superpowers for us?

Ruth: Yes. I really feel so grateful that I have this learning and this knowledge of myself and also of others that I'm close to because I feel that, and it doesn't happen right away because we have a lot of learned behavior. That's something that I've learned from various mental health professionals in my life. But it's really, it's knowing that even though I don't like structure, structure's really good for me and that I might be one of those people who needs a schedule on my phone and a paper calendar. So, It's a superpower because knowing that I function best in certain situations and that certain situations are going to bring out my vulnerability, the scattered version of myself, I need to build in time before appointments. I need to avoid my friends and my other PR people might be able to schedule six meetings in a day. If I do that, I'm not going to show up. Well. So these are just things that that's a superpower. I'm like, I have superpowers now in taking care of myself, so physically and mentally so that I show up better and that I am happier.

Katie: Yeah, absolutely. And so it's like in what rooms you thrive and in what rooms you need a little bit of extra support to make it so that you still show up. And I just think that's so valuable for all of us to take and internalize that there's going to be, all of us are different, but there's going to be some rooms where I thrive, and then there's going to be other rooms where maybe I need a little bit more time to get ready for, and that's okay.

Ruth: And support Katie. I mean, there's a lot of great resources. And I mentioned to you prior to us starting to tape, I learned, I had a doctor's appointment, oh, I don't know, about a month ago. And we did my blood work and everything, and we learned that I have high cholesterol, it's hereditary, but it's pretty high, so I need to self-correct and figure this out. And so my doctor had recommended that I see a nutritionist, and I was going to just go to anybody through my insurance based upon my learning. I decided I'm going to cash pay for someone who specializes in some of the challenges that I deal with, because that's going to be a better outcome. So it's just,

Katie: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And it's key to be aware of, I think of your problems and also what brings you joy. And I just have always really loved that about you, that I think that you are fully aware of what brings you joy and shows up. I see that through your social media, which to me feels very authentic. So I'm going to end it on this final question, which is just to talk to me a little bit more about what does joy and happiness look like to you? What does that mean to you in this world? That we are all trying to just survive these days? Yeah. What does that mean?

Ruth: Joy? For me, the way that I am going to be the most joyful as I walk through life is really taking good care of my mental and physical health. I love running. I'm not a good runner, but I love running. I love you.

Katie: Scale the Strat every year, and I see you. I love it.

Ruth: So yeah, it's just really try everything, try everything, and do it with love and have a lot of self-compassion.

Katie: Absolutely. Thank you so much. Well, I just appreciate your time. You have been the source of some amazing guests for this very show, so I'm just really grateful that I got to get you on and to tell a little bit more about your story. And so with that, I'm going to just ask you to tell people how can they find you if they want to get in touch and learn more about your services, about your business, and about your stories.

Ruth: Oh, thank you. Thanks, Katie. So my website is ruth furman.com. That's R-U-T-H-F-U-R-M-A-N.com. And in addition to being able to contact me through my website, I do have a blog where I post about some of the things that we talked about, and I also have some resources, free resources for people on how to repurpose their earned public relations. And I have fun facts about myself, that kind of thing.

Katie: That's cool. Okay. I didn't know that you have all of those resources. I'm going to go look at the resources and, and just again, thank you for your time. I'm so excited to have you here today and to have you in my world. And with that, join us every first and third Wednesday of the month here, 3:00 PM Pacific Time. But you can catch all of our episodes, including this episode with Ruth on my website @katierosewaechter.com. And so thank you again, and thanks to everyone out there and we will see you again real soon. Have a good one!